1. |
the stranger speaks
04:18
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waking up to armageddon again today
writhing alone in the dark, in the disease
even if i cared i couldn't contend anyway
with the cold barrel pressed against my temple
i know that i am not worthy
i will just wander in the desert
until i can't take it anymore
and then you all can bury me how you see fit
sometimes i almost feel okay but it gets bad at night
when i'm in the company of the me who hates myself
sometimes i almost want to get better but then i realize
that the battle is already lost
i know that my hands are dirty
the guilt will do wonders for my soul
my chest is burning and i can't stop shaking
please let me turn to ash and end the pain
someone is in my head and they're no friend of mine
pacing back and forth between bliss and hopelessness
is this a part of me or an intruder in my mind
the stranger speaks and his words begin to infect
the sun beats down oppressively
to everyone else its a beautiful day
this feels like the last breath i will ever take
i hope that soon it starts to rain
i hope that no one comes to my rescue this time
the sky is pouring down shame
i wish that you didn't love me like you do
this would be so much easier on you
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2. |
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all of us slowly come to hate ourselves in this place
and most of us are forced to deny what we love in this place
ours is a struggle for that which is beyond words
and fists of iron illustrate our rage
let the blood of jzazcov be a memory
of when we suffered bondage and fought to be free
and when we bleed together
it binds us for eternity
our scars are many and we wear them with pride
each one remembers us to a fray deeply justified
these streets are paved with fear and scorched with bitterness
every city block is indicative of a falling empire
our despair in this place fills the shtetls and reaches god
but he turns away
and so it is inflicted upon the ones closest to us
i found the body of my mother today
her eyes looked beyond this world, beyond the old country
i found a sad eyed girl to call my lover today
together we abandon our broken world
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3. |
heart of darkness
05:43
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the skin pulls apart, i watch the seams break
just a drop at first, then a stream and it aches
lines running down my arm
to my fingertips
the flow it takes a part of me
the healing hurts more than the cuts
sleepless and searching for something else
who should i be, i should be something else
the hate turns around and i fall on my sword
the blade is cold and my blood is on fire
death is what makes us feel alive
i'm awake i am awake
but still is the night
insane is on the tip of my mind
and the ledge is ever more inviting
alone at home outside of myself
the damage i do holds fascination
the damage is done, i am the wreckage
escape is impossible, the walls are falling down
under the rubble is where i'll settle down
the disaster has passed so embrace the aftermath
the light has gone out and the dark guides my path
its trickling down from the scars and staining the rug
will you stay here with me
i'll show you how to unfeel
open up my wounds and cleanse yourself
is god satisfied or just absent
the pain slows and it soothes
kept in tact by gaping reminders
otherwise love would finally kill me
i'm dying to see what that's like
i'm headed all the way down river
its too late to turn back
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4. |
desperation manifest
06:01
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unbearable weight of the gun that we live under
separated from one another
you better keep your head up because the water's getting high
we are killing ourselves in order to survive
this is our existence, this is our existence
work is death, life is war
see the storm in the distance, see the storm in the distance
its about to surge
creating wealth that we'll never get a piece of
humanity is a commodity, that's how they treat us
there is no escape from this infects, desperation manifest
and you cannot fathom its reach and its depth
desperation manifest
this is not living, this is not living
this is scraping by
dying a slow death, dying a slow death
being bled dry
the hand it doesn't feed, so we subsist on shit
demands do nothing, so when we need it, we take it
laid in a grave from birth
slowly they fill in the hole
buried under the weight until you're wasted and you're old
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5. |
love and grim delusion
06:36
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my true love is a mastermind of countless crimes of passion
marred and scarred by invisible violence
carved up and condemned for bleeding
armed and dangerous are my true love's desires
can you taste my grim delusions
can you feel me holding on too tightly
you are so much more to me than i will ever be to you
there is so much for me to let go of
in your eyes is life and death of a thousand martyred ansesctors
from your lips spill idealistic tendencies and nihilistic sympathies
i feel your breath on my neck and the shiver down my spine is you
every moment that we share is comfort and exhilaration beautiful one
i'm asking you to keep me from turning to stone
and silently retreating to dark obsession
your voice calls me home to you and with you is what i call home
i'm here in the dark of november
and you're miles away beautiful one
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6. |
specter
04:48
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the death of the past is revolution
the final justice is retribution
a time of reckoning is now at hand
and a specter moves through the land
we are the specter, smash the old
we are the specter, we build the new
we cast our judgement, we take your life from you
this is the awakening that all have been waiting for
mercy is far from our minds, prepared for war
rising up from this hell to enact resistence
cracking the pillars of all that once was
i dream of the world on fire and blood in the streets
i envision the guards of the old world fleeing in defeat
i sense a darkness coming that will cover all the world in shadow
i sense a new dawn shining, radiantly does it show
this life is fleeting, but the fire we set will burn forever
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7. |
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well i'm going to the place where the tough guys go
and come out even tougher
a place where a man don't show his feelings
a place where a man don't cry
they say i'm being punished and they say i'll be reformed
that someday i'll return
did they really think that this time it would work
you knew all along it wouldn't
oh i'm prison bound
i did a crime one too many times
its on the outskirts of town by railroad tracks
where the country moonshines
oh i'm prison bound
tell my girl i'll be back one day
oh i'm prison bound and i'll never know any other way
they take away my freedom of expression or action
johnny says i walk the line
with three hots and a cot, and a lot of talk
with lock up, concrete and steel
its cold and its clammy
its colder than a pimp's heart
but i've gotta do my time
there's a lesson to be learned here but what a price to pay
and you know i'll never learn
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Fixin to Die Montpelier, Vermont
This is Fixin to Die. Thanks for listening.
www.facebook.com/fixintodiemusic
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